The Toppled Bollard, along with its associated enterprise The Broken Glass, is a mythical pub, nightclub and events centre set in the heart of Corby, Northamptonshire.  It was created as a location for an on-going series of stories which have been told in the sales letters sent to customers and potential customers of Hamilton House Mailings plc.    It also appears in Tony's novel, Singles Night at the Museum

The letters concern the activities of the chairman of a direct mail company which chronicle his attempts to persuade reluctant clients to do more direct mail.  They also chart the wild goings-on as members of the marketing elite of the East Midlands gather together to exchange tales and give each other awards. 

It is often said in direct mail that mailshots work better when they have an accompanying letter.  During the 1990s I repeatedly tested this, and found it to be untrue.  What is true, however, is that certain types of sales letters can grab the recipient’s attention and make the recipient much more likely to read the enclosed brochure or other sales literature.   

Throughout the 90s we experimented with many different types of sales letter, noting exactly which properties are pre-requisites of success in this area, and eventually we hit on the idea of a sales letter that basically makes fun of sales letters.  The argument in favour of this approach was simple: most of our customers and potential customers received hundreds of sales letters a year.   But virtually none of these ever had the slightest bit of humour in them.  However our sales team (who answer our phone lines, handling day to day enquiries from these same customers and potential customers) could often be heard sharing a little joke or humorous comment with those on the other end of the line. 

So we tried writing a few amusing sales letters – sales letters which told silly stories and which were written up as take-offs of sales letters that accompany most mail shots.  Initially the idea was to continue the series for a maximum of four letters, but the response from recipients was so overwhelming that the series was extended. 

These original sales letters did not have any set theme, except that the joke was invariably on the writer of the letter, not at the expense of anyone else.   However, as I was called upon to write more and more of these stories it quickly became clear to me that life was going to be a lot easier if I could create a location and small set of characters on which I could fall back.  Such a location and such characters would give a setting to the humour – and would I hoped, make it slightly easier to come up with a new tale every three or four weeks. 

The subsequent series of letters featuring the Toppled Bollard is the most successful series of sales letters that we have created in the last ten years.  I suspect it is also one of the most successful series of sales letters created anywhere in the last ten years.  And yet paradoxically it has not been copied, imitated or replicated anywhere.   It is almost as if others have noted our success in this field but felt that it was “not for the likes of us.”   

I’ve debated this point many times at seminars and conferences and found that most people involved in selling via direct mail are utterly frightened of humour.  This is completely the opposite of firms involved in selling via television, radio or cinema.  It is strange, and I can’t quite understand why it should be so, but it is. 

Thus most of our customers over the years who have asked us to increase their direct mail response rates by writing sales letters for them have made it clear that they want a serious piece – and of course we have obliged.  I am delighted to say that something like 98% of those who have received a draft copy have been very happy and willing to continue with the contract.   (I should explain that our creative contracts allow our customers to cancel the contract without cost or obligation if upon getting the draft they feel it is not what they wanted).    

Of that majority who do take up the contract, over 85% tell us that they get an increase in response rates when using the text we have created for them.   

Our view remains that had they allowed us to experiment with more humorous themes we would have been able to go even further.   Certainly the small number of companies who have asked us to write sales letters for them with a comic theme seem to have done particularly well as a result.   

As our own “Toppled Bollard” stories have become increasingly surreal they have grown in fame, and we now have a mailing list of people who specifically ask to receive each instalment of the life and times of the Toppled Bollard and its bizarre and eccentric clientele.   Repeatedly we try and take these people off our mailing list, on the grounds that they haven’t bought anything from us for months, but they beg us not remove them from the story. 

It is for these people, as well as those who have asked for details of the why’s and how’s of the creation of the Bollard myth, that this site is constructed. 

If you would like to talk about the why’s and wherefores of how the way you write your sales letters can dramatically affect the response rate you get to your direct mail, please do call Tony Attwood on 01536 399 000.   There is no obligation and no charge – as long as Tony is available he will be quite willing to talk about the issues of how writing affects the response rate in direct mail.   In the meanwhile you can read more about this particular campaign, and its remarkable success, on the rest of this web site. 

You can read more about the Toppled Bollard at www.toppled.info